The Journal of Enzo Sagaris

[Metro-Gnome]

As much fault as I can find with my adopted father (and it is abundant), it must be said that Papa Cietzzi and his circus offered me my first taste of acceptance. A feeling that I had thought was only available to me within the circus. It was my family there, after all, that taught me, mentored me and nurtured me as I grew into one of them. The patrons, the "normal" people, were the ones who exchanged nervous glances and whispers. It was they who offered me insult and made jokes at my expense. So why did I choose to leave the circus and join them?

I can only assume I was drawn to the freedom they enjoyed. The freedom to do as they wished, go where they may and be remembered when they left. Now I am free to do that. I've lived, in a handful of months, a lifetime's worth of experiences. I've been chased out of towns and welcomed at a tavern on the same day. I've seen marvelous sights. I've managed to find a place where I dare say I am regarded positively when I am regarded at all. So common is the uncommon that I do not even stand out some times.

I still cautiously hide certain things for fear of misunderstanding. I mask my accent and do not discuss my field of study, for example. Perhaps that is not being as genuine as I would like but we are getting there. I am sure it will come in time. No need to inspire a pitchfork wielding mob just yet, I suppose.

[Metro-Gnome]

The freedom of choice makes approval more valuable I think. Everyone who accepts me now has made the choice to do so. I can not fathom how I have made such an impression on Berea, for example. The friendship of a stalwart defender of nature means the world to this devil-blooded necromancer because it was so difficult for her to offer. I think that she was, at our first meeting, nervous for a number of understandable reasons. I think it was in the overcoming of those factors that we have both grown so fond of each other. Her understanding, open mind and patience has made me fond of her. Meanwhile my lust for life and good nature seems to be soothing her staunch disposition. We are both the better for it and I look forward to each moment we share.

[Metro-Gnome]

*This entry is strange. It begins as normal but as it progresses the handwriting seems more hurried. The spacing becomes erratic. Anatomical drawings in gruesome detail are drawn in the margins, blank spaces and occasionally over the words themselves*

My work progresses. I have secured a small cottage outside Nashkel for this latest batch of testing. My source material is the Librus Mortenegra. The translations are rough but I have managed to glean some understanding when comparing it to other texts including Larloch's Stages of Life.

Between the illustrations and vivid descriptions I have created a working illusory model and have worked out a number of scenarios with it. It is helping me to understand what manipulations of life energy are possible depending on the intent. I have less interest in creating undead than ending them but I feel it's important to understand the construction before I can dismantle them. The mysteries of the weave fly before me both beautiful and terrifying. The intricacies of necromancy fly out before me in surreal and resplendent detail. My eyes fill with the horrors death and worse. I understand.

*The entry then trails off into illegible and incomprehensible gibberish and various disturbing artwork.*

[Metro-Gnome]

I was unwise, perhaps in concocting the plan for my most recent research but the results are hard to ignore. I have the basic workings of a glorious new spell but I've little hope of working out the details without undertaking the same mind expanding process again.

The mix of various chemicals opens my eyes to the vast possibilities and infinite variations on both the weave and my subject. Let necessity make her claim but the artists know the real mother of invention. Absinthe, the mistress of a thousand eccentric geniuses, has inspired the best among us to achievements that no one of sound mind could have achieved.

Delving into my gruesome source material while under the effects of hallucinogenics is does take it's toll I fear. I am exhausted beyond comprehension but I fear what nightmares await me if I should sleep. Knowing that I will have to delve deeper next time does nothing to ease my mind, either.

[Metro-Gnome]

I have assembled a motley assortment of associates during my time here. Such an odd assortment they must seem to everyone else who did not grow up in a litteral freak show. It leads me to an interesting thought. What if I created a circus? With our cast our characters we would be a smash hit.

The elven woman, Boots, has already mentoned that she was a circus performer herself once. I just hope she wasn't a tightrope walker with her proclivity for missteps. Abner's keen eye and masterful skills with ranged weapons make him a natural knife thrower. "Meat" the half-orc, my favorite lack, is a perfect fit for a strong man. Celulith is a clown already. Castand will be a magnificent bearded lady and Berea's shape shifting will mean we don't even have to travel with live animals. Unless you count Castand and Meat of course.

[Metro-Gnome]

*his writing is different again, his scribbled words thrown down hurriedly as if trying losing a race against the speed of thought.*

I enjoyed a break from my studies today. Berea and I enacted a bit of mischief and I must say she's a far better accomplice than I would have expected. One would have thought I would enlist Celulith or Abner but it was a surprising success. A few minor pranks were conducted flawlessly and she even helped me make an escape from the inquisitive eyes of the local law men. I enjoy watching her sensibilites ease and was even able to convince her to enjoy some of my coca snuff which has less of an effect on her I think. If someone had told either of us, though, at our first meeting, that she would, in short order, be sniffing coca in a pirate bar after helping me, a tiefling necromancer, escape the guard both of us would have thought them mad but I have yet to see her in better humor. I dare say she seems excited to delve deeper into her own mischievous side. It should be interesting.

[Metro-Gnome]

We traveled great distances in the circus but only ever saw the same things. The wagons, the stage, the crowd, and then back to the wagon. Perhaps it is why I am so drawn to the outdoors, now. Or perhaps it is something different entirely. Berea's influence perhaps. Maybe I appeciate the time away from my studies. Necromancy can be a grim subject even if the intentions are pure. It is wonderful to take in the splendid sights this realm has to offer for whatever reason and I delight in showing my favorites to those close to me.

There was a rousing party in Roaringshore last evening. I know the tavern can get rowdy but it seemed especially so. Perhaps it was the drink or the advances of the saucy pirate woman but I had a wonderful time.

I met a handful of colorful characters that I expect I will get along with well enough should I be in the mood for shenanigans. Mountain, a half-orc who seems more intelligent than most I've met though I still won't be rushing to get on his bad side. Desrah, the human woman who was doing everything she could to make me feel welcome and Kyle, her loyal protector, who did everything in his power to convey the opposite. Try as he may to run me off, though, I think that Roaring shore has received me with open arms. It might serve me well as a base of operations if I ever decide to stop wandering.

[Metro-Gnome]

I had the strangest encounter today. A fellow mage who was playing suitor to the same woman as I. He had apparently grown quite frustrated when she turned him away so I was not looking forward to our conversation at all.

I must say that it was far more cordial and polite than one might expect but he did make it a point to mention his great fortune at nearly every turn. I felt a fleeting urge to perpetuate the rivalry by mentioning my own wealth but decided it best to let the matter drop. No need to make enemies on matters of pride.

I offered to repay him or replace the gifts he'd given her but he declined. He urged me to take her on an elaborate date that he engineered as to not waste it. Though, it seemed disingenuous to take credit for his work and so I gave the plans and tickets to the old gypsy couple from Baldur's Gate. I'm sure they enjoyed themselves. I am working now on a gift of my own design instead.

[Metro-Gnome]

It's puzzling to me what druids object to in terms of spellcraft. Fireballs, bad. Earthquakes, good. Meteor swarm, bad. Stone to mud, fine. I fear I will never fully grasp the distinction but out of respect to Berea (and the wilderness that I enjoy my travels through) I am trying to walk this particular tightrope carefully. Today we came across a question not even Berea could readily provide an answer for.

I was intoduced to a haunted manor with vampire residents. We struck up a conversation about my studies in necromancy. I have promised her that my use of necromancy will never include the summoning of undead but with vampires readily available I asked what her thoughts were on compelling them to fight one another. She will have to think on it but sees no reason that would be in violation of her balance. So perhaps I can be a conscientious necromancer and still amass a terrifying undead army anyway. Fingers crossed.

[Metro-Gnome]

Vampires are useless. There. I've said it. It is safe to say that my dreams of amassing a terrifying unread army were quashed today during dissapointing field tests.

Berea has spoken to the other druids and decided that my plan for mindless vampire puppet minions is not an afront nature. It turns out it's just an afront to productivity. I had better luck controlling a skeleton with a club. At least then I didn't have to sit idly and watch two vampires try futily to bite each other for ten minutes. Not to mention you can walk around with a skeleton in the daylight.

It is so frustrating looking at the flaws in these simple examples of unread and knowing that I could do better if I created my own. With a few simple changes I could create a truly fearsome creature. Alas, I have sworn to Berea that I will not. The things we do for *the next word is scribbled out thoroughly and replaced with another* friends.

[Metro-Gnome]

Today was a banner day for me. Sort of a coming out party for my offensive spell casting. I have known the power of these spells in theory and have many examples in my repertoire but under council from Ivan I have never truly had the chance to try evocation before.

I should be clear, Ivan did not expect all mages to abstain from using them entirely. That would have been unreasonable and he strikes me as, above all else, a realist. He only asked that I be aware of my surroundings and careful with my use of spells like meteor swarm. And so I have focused my traveling spell book on wards and enchantments to aid my party members or disable threats without causing much damage.

It was on this day however that the stars aligned. In a rock strewn canyon with nothing flammable in sight (other than trolls of course). With a capable companion who required no wards. Finally I could unleash the awesome power of the evocation school.

Perhaps just the excitement of the day but I doubt I will be able to, for a long while, flip past the "Firebrand" entry in my spell book without cracking a smile.

[Metro-Gnome]

I was beginning to think that my little band of mischief makers was shrinking. I've not seen Celulith or Abner for days. Meat seems to have left the coast entirely (with my favorite hat no less). Even Castand, who I had little use for aside from his sword arm, seems to be missing.

Thankfully, I have a new compatriot in my war against the mundane. The elven woman, Boots, has agreed to aid me in a number of projects. She may have her quirks but it is nice to have a like-minded rogue who enjoys the occasional shenanigans. I'm looking forward to seeing just what mischief we can drag the others into.

Speaking of the others, we did run into Berea and Ivan in Ulgoth's Beard of all places. They were headed to the inn as we were heading out so we decided to grab a round of drinks. Ivan is not the most talkative fellow and tends towards the same sort of "stoic dignity" that was Berea's burden when first we met. Perhaps we can help him shake it off as well.

P.S. Why does everyone bathe with sand?! I am making it a person mission to introduce fine soaps to this region.

[Metro-Gnome]

My frustrations grow as yet more things become off limits in this place. I am beginning to think that the freedom I was so enjoying is now slipping away. This time it is an entire group seeking to tell me what I can an can't do. A group I have no ties to and no reason to abide by. Each day that I turn around someone tries to constrain me with their politics or religion.

It is becoming clear that the only way to be trully free is dishonesty. I hate to think that will be my lot in life but I will not bow to each new whim that people intend to place upon me.

[Metro-Gnome]

I think I may have done it. I have created a masterpiece. I feel as though I have not only joined the ranks of Toril's finest spellcrafters but in certain ways I may even have surpassed some.

I have mastered the art of necromancy. It seems a bold claim but I have collected, from each necromantic school, an understanding and control of the fabric of life itself. I can heal. I can wound. I can create, destroy and command the living, dead, and in-between.

This, though, is not my finest accomplishment. That lies with the manner in which I have come to this knowledge for I have done so through careful choices and not lost myself to my craft as many of the authors I relied upon. My crowning achievement and my legacy will be the pains I took and the self-imposed limitations I endured to ensure that my work was beyond reproach.

Whether it be abstaining from creation or summoning of undead or seeking council from not only mages but priests, knights and druids in regards to objectionable abuses of the weave. I am proud of what has been accomplished.

Necromancy is a tool that can be used for good as easily as evil. My greatest achievement will be the smile on my Berea's face watching me demonstrate that.

[Metro-Gnome]

*This entry is splattered with errant drops of ink*

I have held this quill in my hand for many minutes deciding where to start this entry. Today's events play back through my mind in a rush of images and emotions that I struggle to put into words now. Not that I was much better at the time, of course.

My work crafting a new journal for Berea was a splendid success. I presented Berea with this gift today and she responded with an even greater one of her own.

This is, I think, where I must explain something. I have stated before how easily I have found acceptance on the coast but I have not spoken in length about any meaningful connections because they are harder to establish. Perhaps this is influenced slightly by the fact that my closest friend to this point was a man who locked me in a cage and dubbed me Enzo the Goat-faced Boy. An unfortunate moniker I would be bear for most of my childhood. In any case, close bonds do not come easily to me.

Berea seems to be the exception. The insight provided from her journal and her notable lack of anger over it's theft led us to a most interesting but impressively roundabout conversation that produced some memories I will cherish. I am growing quite attached to her and my splendid new life on the sword coast.