Dirty Deeds and the Dundurrt Chief - Nog's Chronicles

[ragnarok1983]

The Narration of Damnation

Dundurrt's tale is short because quite frankly tales of killing woodland creatures, bonking companions on the head, and drinking lots of ale get quite repetitive.

He's as large as an orc can possibly get and prone to fits of rage. To date, the only humanoid he's met that may be larger (and thus the one he has more respect for) is Ishnak Ungduh, the chief of his tribe. Dundurrt is riddled with scars, has several disgusting hairy growths on his body and face, large crooked tusks, and muscle. So much muscle in fact that armor he wears he simply "smooshed" together from several sets of full plate armor looted from his victims. The metal bends and flexes when he moves, surely weakening it considerably. At one time he wielded a single greataxe. Finding it to be quite lethal he decided that "If dis one ax guud, moor ax iz... urr... moor guud." He now uses a hefty greataxe in each hand.

Those hands are the oddest part of the creature. Dundurrt has only three fingers and a thumb on each hand... if you can even call them "hands." It looks more like some butcher shoved forty pounds of scrap meat into exceptionally large sausage casings and called them "fingers." Remnants of finger nails are yellowed, cracked, and growing out of multiple locations at the ends.

All that being said, here is his story.

Smooshin, Smashin, and Eatin

Dundurrt spends the majority of his days running through the wilderness killing any woodland creature that looks edible. Sometimes he'll cook the meat, but seeing as it takes both time and effort to build a fire it is more likely he will eat the creature raw... sometimes while it's still alive.

Frankly, he's too ignorant to realize the cruelty of such actions. Due to his low intelligence and his lack of patience he would be both unable and unwilling to understand if anyone explained the actions to him as "cruel." These issues alone have made him the bane of druids and rangers. It's not that he is necessarily evil, as he lacks the intent to be cruel, but he will commit deeds that are considered evil or even good... out of sheer ignorance.

He is known to pet "fuzzy" animals if they are not aggresive... though if he is hungry you should most definitely avoid him. Anything that is not an orc he considers food so those that meet him should be wary.

This mighty orc has recently tried to eat a cow in the farmlands even though he considers them "Fuud fer dah weak." For some reason he is unable to actually slay the cow. Out of frustration he tried biting into the cow but found that he was unable to do so. His final conclusion is that they are "Majik weakling fuud." Dundurrt was so frustrated that he swung his mighty greataxes at the fence and began to devour the remnants of that. Jorn would be most displeased to find out that Dundurrt was responsible for this crime.

A short list of things he has consumed:
Ale, the ale glass, wolves, branches of an oak tree, rocks, gnolls, a pig, a fence post, a fire pit... with burning logs, a boot, and one time he tried to eat his own hand, but found it was too large to put in his mouth.

[ragnarok1983]

Farts and the Flaming Fist

Dundurrt met a fellow clansman by the name of "Grag" today. After days wondering through the wilderness trying to sate his hunger, it was good to have someone keep the orc focused on his clan's job: "Ork Petdroool! Urrr... Partooool! Hurrr wuz it... present... pratool... portrait? ORK PORTRAIT!" With Grag's "wise" guidance, they patrolled the roads from Baldur's Gate to Beregost, keeping it safe for the strong by defeating the weak.

Upon their return to Baldur's gate, both of their stomach's growled ferociously. In Dundurrt's shining moment of brilliance, he decided he should eat one of Jorn's cows... unfortunately he forgot exactly what a cow was before they got there. After being scared out of his wits, an innocent human bystander directed them to the "cows" that the orc's sought. Unfortunately the directions were not quite clear enough, and the two orcs ended up eating a roll of hay.

A member of the Fist strolled by and offered them a mission: For every torch they bring to the Fist, they will recieve 25 gold. Grag nearly crushed the human's hand while shaking on the deal. Grag is now called "Grag Dealmaker" by Dundurrt.

Grag: "How much gold dat be? Dundurrt smart."
Dundurrt: "Urr... dat iz... *reaches in his bag* wuun... two... five... wolf... dat iz dis much!" *Holds out 11 gold pieces*
Grag: "Dundurrt and Grag be RICH!"

Learning that torches were sticks on fire, Dundurrt proceded to rip lamps off of buildings in Baldur's Gate and whole lamposts off the bridge to return for his reward.

A human later approached the two stating he also wanted to be a member of the Flaming Fist and needed their help. In Dundurrt's "infinite wisdom" he said "Urr... okay den. Hold fist out." Dundurrt grabbed one of the oil lamps he had ripped from the wall of a building. The human cowered in fear and hid his hands, but it was too late. Dundurrt threw the oil lamp at where the human's hands were, while trying to make "Fire Fist" and ended up hitting the man in the chest with the oil lamp. Flames spewed forth and burned the man minorly.

"It moor easy if handz stay out! Dundurrt try agin." The man ran off in fear.

/// Grag, had a blast with you today. Brilliant inspiration for Dundurrt. DM Haunted, thanks for the small event near the kobold caves in the wolf area. I think Dundurrt will be sick later from eating some of the blood-soaked earth beneath that rotting corpse. And Berel, had a blast with you too. Hard having serious issues around two giant stupid orcs. Grag appreciates the "hug" you gave him though. ///

[ragnarok1983]

Dundurrt finds that it would be wise to set up a fire and tent on the bridge in the farmlands. He receives several warnings from an elf to relocate elsewhere. The elf states "You cannot make a fire on the bridge." To which Dundurrt, in his shining moment of intelligence, looks down at the fire and says, "Can too. See." and points at the fire. The elf tries her best to convince the halfwit to relocate to no avail. The creature's skull is simply too thick to understand the gravity of his actions.

It does not take long before a patrol of Fist mercenaries makes their rounds. Dundurrt recieves several warnings from the soldier, Leo Artikus to disarm his two halberds and remove his camping equipment at once. The dimwitted orc refuses naturally.

Though Dundurrt is sure of his skills in battle and thinks of himself as the mightiest creature in existance, he is easily bested by the veteran soldier. A volitile fart marks the beginning of the conflict and Leo Artikus wastes no time dispatching and beheading the orc in response. Without hesitance, Leo bags the beast's massive melon and dumps the remainder of the orc's corpse over the bridge. Leo Artikus must have the strength of eight men in order to accomplish such a feat as the orc and his gear must weigh nearly eight hundred pounds.

The giant orc sinks to the bottom of the river, weighed down by muscle density, thick metal armor, and no less than five greataxes and three halberds.

... and surely that dense skull did not help matters.

[ragnarok1983]

Dundurrt's Last Appearance
Before His "Disposal"

[ragnarok1983]

Dundurrt has long since rotted on the bottom of the river... his massive frame serves as a natural reef for the aquatic life in the harbor. This sad tale is only slightly brightened by the fact that... regardless of his lack of intelligence, charisma, reason, etc. ... the beast still managed to successfully mate. His illegitment spawn named "Nog Ungduh" now wanders the lands in search of his father. Only now has he finally arrived in these lands.

Nog's hope to find his father was not fueled by any sort of love or affection as Orcs are not known as affectionate creatures. Rather, Nog seeks to usurp his father and lead his own clan in due time. He is not aware that his father has perished.

In some form of irony, Nog was just as "blessed" as his father in relation to intellect and wisdom. His affinity for large weapons is also present. Surely, this combination will not end well.

[ragnarok1983]

Character description:
Nog Dundurrtson Ungduh
~ 6'8" (2.66 meters)
~ 372 lbs,
~ muscular arms and legs, dense and sagging midsection which droops over his belt.
~ Heavy scarring of head, face, arms, and legs (though less than Dundurrt).
~ tumor-like growths on most exposed skin.
~ 2 x 18 lb hands with 4 fingers each (a genetic defect passed from his father)
~ Fingers with shapes similar to sweet potatoes... thick, hard, and grossly mishapped.
~ Is obsessed with finding a mate (or several mates). Perhaps due to his desire to gain his own clan.
~ Clearly mentally diminished