The Secret Life of Alison Schlump

[vetinari]

Updated 7/26/2013

Character and Stats

What She Looks Like
Alison is about 5' 6" with an average to athletic build. She has pale skin and long, black hair, usually tied up in a pony tail. She is only slightly stronger than average, but very nimble and flexible. She is considered "pretty" but certainly not beautiful.

Who She Is
Alison is almost always friendly and pleasant to everyone she meets. Occasionally she will make an unfriendly or sarcastic remark, but she usually covers it with a good-natured laugh or smile. Often the jokester, she can turn very sympathetic and genuinely apologetic if she crosses the line, or if someone appears to be upset. She appears to be intelligent, although what she passes off as wisdom are often just quotes that she likes. She obviously has some charisma.

What She Does
Alison is a performer and a jokester. She often calls herself "the Harlequin" (synonymous with Fool or Jester), a term which few people on the Sword Coast are familiar with. Alison is also a student of lost lore and artifacts, and she loves to adventure and explore new places, even if they are dangerous. She is a persistent defender of the weak and innocent, and always feels compelled to defend the underdog.

Affiliations
Performer's Guild - Barely Active Member
Candlekeep - Dis-Avowed
Wardens of Beregost - Disbanded
Nashkel Trade Emporium - What was I thinking?
Black Carnation Initiative - Left

Play Times
Eastern Time (GMT-4 summer, GMT-5 Rest of Year)
Weekdays: 4:30pm - 7:30pm (usually on for 1 - 2 hours during this time)
Weekends: anytime (usually on for 2 - 4 hours during this time)
Can be available during specific times by arrangement

[vetinari]

Arrival

I still can't get used to the city. I grew up in a little village in the Dalelands, where everybody knows everybody. . . and everybody knows everybody's business. But here in Baldur's Gate? Phew. . . I don't know anybody! Relatively speaking, that is. I know a lot of people, actually, because I'm an outgoing, cheerful, and gregarious person. And I have no pride, and I'm not afraid to butt my nose in whether its wanted or not. I've made more than one friend. . . er, acquaintance. . . that way.

Oops, hold on, some "charms" merchant is thrashing some poor kid for bumping his stall - claims he tried to steal something. .. yup, here come the Fist. . .

Now this is the thing that would horrify a good number of my friends. But I don't think of it as stealing. I think of it as an Arsehole tax! While the merchant is occupied with the Fist, i'll just. . . nobody looking. .. nice and casual. . . Got it! Hrm, nice little ring, mild enchantment on it. . . I'll take it to Maltz's or someplace and sell it, then give the money to the orphan's shelter or the soup kitchen at the Temple of Ilmater.

I'm not a thief. I'm an entertainer! I do juggling, and a little "magic" - you know the kind that is more Sleight-of-Hand than actual magic. That Sleight-of-Hand stuff is how I got so good at nicking goodies from people who deserve it. I'm also a fair acrobat, singer, and musician. This is what I do in my "off" time. I am a regular entertainer at most of the Inns and Taverns in Baldur's Gate, and to a lesser extent at Beregost. And of course I always try to show up for th Storytelling Festivals at Candlekeep.

Of course, I have another side too. That's the adventurous side. Oooh, I love exploring! Unfortunately, the Sword Coast is a wild place, with vicious beasts, deadly caves, and. . . and. . . well, deadly beasts and vicious caves. The point is, that i've gotten very good with my swords and magic thanks to all the dangers i've faced and overcome. . .

Wooops! There's Lord Jonas! I have to go tease him some more. I'll continue my inner monologue some other time.

Cheers!

[vetinari]

Rith

You know what I hate? When you see someone around, here and there, and they seem to be friends with some of the best people around, and you think "One of these days, I'm going to sit down and get to know that person better, because they must be good decent folk." and then you find out -- the hard way -- that they they aren't as good or nice as you thought.

This is where I stand with Rith. She knows all the finest people, like Lord Jonas, and Saint Merielle, and they all seem to think the world of her. But I realize now that often people easily overlook the less-than-honorable actions of their friends.

Ivaris had a run-in with an idiot talking about how all demons and devils aren't bad. Fine, he's an idiot. One thing led to another and the idiot ended up throwing a few punches at Ivaris. Ivaris had his axe drawn, so when the punches landed, he whirled and. . . well, it got bloodier than it should have. I healed the idiot, and tried to talk to him, but he's an idiot. Instead, he drew a bow, ran back and started shooting at Ivaris.

Now two other people were present for most of this. Rith, and a druid woman who's name I don't know, but her animal companion is named Monna. I don't know Monna's owner very well, except for a brief encounter where she saved my life! After which I gushed gratitude. The point being that, although the druid and I didn't know each other, we were each pretty sure that the other was good people.

Here's where it gets ugly. A battle ensued. I was trying to cast a Hold spell on the idiot. Ivaris went at him with a battle axe, and Rith started firing lethal magics at the idiot. I followed the battle shouting "Stop! Its just a misunderstanding! Nobody has to die!" I never was able to subdue the man. If I had successfully Held him, he would have been killed by an enraged Ivaris and Rith.

They finally took the man down. He was lying on the ground, an inch from death, when my druid friend followed my example and healed the man so he wouldn't bleed to death.

Rith blasted her with magic and killed her.

Horrified, and finally enraged at a Truely senseless and uncalled for death, I drew steel and attacked Rith. She cast a deadly spell at me, Injuring me quite badly, but then backed off at Ivaris's call.

Rith and her companions Tehil and Siomir, who defended her actions out of friendship more than facts, will go about their lives thinking it was a justified killing. And good for them. Guilt and regrets are like a backpack full of rocks - they weigh you down needlessly.

But the Truth is that Rith killed a healer who never attacked anyone. A good woman of nature who was once kind enough to drag the corpse of a dead Jester, a stranger no less, to a temple so that she could be raised. Whatever arguments her friends wish to make, the deliberate killing of a Good person is an Evil act.

I desperately want to end this monologue with some words of Wisdom, but there is no wisdom to be found here. I've got nothing.

[vetinari]

Intimacy

At the age of 13, I had grown into a beautiful young girl. . .

Just kidding. I was a mess. I had grown too tall for my age, and everything was out of proportion. I was a gangly, awkward, and thoroughly unattractive young lass, and the boys in the village let me know it.

My only positive feature was that I had perfect pitch, and was considered a fine singer. So it was when a travelling bard, Vanadia Robinsdottir, came to our village and led us all in a sing-song during one of her performances, she approached my parents and offered to take me on as her apprentice. My parents agreed, and off I went within a tenday.

Over the next 4 years, I grew no taller, leaving me a bit shorter than the average woman, but everything else filled out and fell into place. I became an attractive, raven-haired, fair-skinned young lady. But I was mostly unaware of this, since my childhood emotional scars had yet to heal. Sure, I had noticed that more people had begun to look at me, but I was a bard. People always look at the people on-stage even if they have a hair-lip and disfiguring burns on their face.

When I was 17, we arrived in Battledale, where I caught the eye of Lord Bandar, the son of Chancellor Ilmeth of Essembra. For the first time in my life, I actually felt attractive, and Bandar was a fine looking young man. After wooing me with wine and words, and professing his love for me, I let him take me to his chamber and deflower me.

The next day I entered the festhall where I spied Bandar and his other noble friends at the main table. I approached him, a happy, coy grin on my face. . . and he looked at me with amused disdain. There was whispering among his friends and they looked at me and snickered and chuckled while Bandar smirked cruelly. He dismissed me with a wave. I left the festhall in a daze, a broken and shattered girl, and Vanadia cut our stay short so we could leave the next day.

Over the next year, I became. . . how do I put this delicately. . . a (fun person). Oh, yes, I spread easier than warm butter, and I considered tying a matress to my back to save time. There wasn't a farmhand, merchant, or begger that couldn't have me at a word, and I was so despondent that I didn't care what rumors spread about me.

One day, we arrived at a village so remote that they hadn't heard the rumors about the bendable travelling bard. As expected, I had a tumble with the first handsome young face I encountered on the very first night. The next day, we were ready to play at the town square, and the whole town had gathered, when a young man approached me.

Who was this? Oh yes, it was my tryst from last night. He had a nervous but happy look on his face and I noticed his family stood behind him. His father with a proud look on his face, his mother almost gushing with emotion but trying to hold it back. There, in front of the whole town, he took a knee in front of me and reached for his pouch. . .

Oh Gods! He wasn't. . he was! The look of horror that crossed my face must have been visible from Celestia. I was frozen. Behind me, a member of our troupe whispered to another, jokingly, "I wonder if he would be proposing if he knew how many men she's lain with". . . but it wasn't a quiet whisper. The young man. . . Gods, I can't even remember his name!. . the young man heard. And he saw the look on my face.

I was looking in his eyes, and I swear I saw the exact moment when his heart ripped in two. Humiliated in front of his parents and his entire village, he stood without a word, and walked away.

I felt sick to my stomach. I was scum. I was dirt. I was Evil. Once again, Vanadia decreed that we should cut our stay short, and we left the village the next day. For the next tenday, I performed when required, but I was wooden and stiff, and played without emotion.

Thus ended my year of promiscuity.

When I arrived on the Sword Coast, after finishing my apprenticeship, I had been celibate for a year, and just as happy as I had been before the Lord Bandar incident. Over the last year I had learned, once again, to love and respect myself, and to realize that my sense of self-worth should come from inside, not out. I learned that sexual intimacy has meaning, no matter how much those involved try to pretend that it does not. And I learned to never trust a smooth talker, especially if he has noble blood in him.

[vetinari]

Sir Jonas Rokranon, Ivaris, and other diversions

Sitting at the fire after my disasterous conversation with Sir Jonas. . .

That was a fiasco! I have a friend, Celia, who has let me know that she is one of those women who prefer the intimate company of other women. Unfortunately she is very shy and has a hard time meeting people, so I agreed to help her out. Basically, since I'm already a bit flirty, I decided I would try flirting with a bunch of women, and if they responded positively, I would pass their name on to Celia. Naturally, I don't really care if people react poorly to me, since I'm friendly and outgoing and I can smooth over any perceived insult fairly easily. And if not, its their loss. I'm a good person, and I'm not out to prove anything.

Gods, that woman is still looking at me funny! I look back at her and give her a wink. Ha! She gave me a dirty look and looked away. Oh well.

Anyway, I saw Sir Jonas, and I know he knows a lot of people, so I approached him on this topic. Mind you, he was alone when I first approached him, but Jonas attracts people like flies to a torch, so before we had exchanged more than a couple of words, we were surrounded. I pressed on with my questions, which amounted basically to: "Hey, Jonas, I'm looking to expand my horizons. Do you know any lesbians?"

Well! The reactions I got were of disgust, disappointment, and perverse curiousity. Even Sir Jonas got a glazed look and walked off without a word! Ass. And here I thought Baldur's Gate would be a bit more sophisticated about such things, but apparently lesbians rank just above Drow in the social Hierarchy. So, on the downside, everyone thinks i'm a freak. On the plus side, I helped Celia avoid this fate, which would have affected her much worse than it affects me (i.e., not at all).

Ha! That guy with the dark cloak is still looking at me. Probably imagining me in a love-tangle with another woman! I'll make a mental note to flirt with him later and completely confuse him.

Sir Jonas . . . *sigh* What to think of him. First, understand that the nobility are completely worthless, particularly those who are born to their station. Not only do they take far more than they ever give, but they are afflicted with a sense of entitlement and privilege that only one who never had to work for anything could have. Quite disgusting actually. Naturally, I'm not a complete idiot, so I don't broadcast these feelings. But there it is.

Sir Jonas is different in that he earned his noble rank, rather than being born into it. However, even those who earn their titles can be ultimately afflicted with an inflated sense of self-worth and importance. I've been keeping an eye on him to see if that's the direction he takes. The cracks are already showing. He is assembling about himself a retinue of followers: A senechal. A herald. Probably some advisors and men-at-arms. Really ridiculous and unnecessary, especially since he can't step out of the loo without immediately being surrounded by a swarm of hangers-on. He doesn't need to hire followers, they're already there! But, in his defense, he is still friendly, even to us little people, and he never brushes off someone just because of their low station. He isnt' a complete loss, yet.

Ivaris is sitting right across from me. He was one of those who sort of walked off after my conversation with Jonas. His general attitude was one of bewildered disappointment. Ass. He's one of my best friends. Oh, my dear Ivaris. He slew a Balor, doncha know. And he was made Captain of the Weave Guardians. He's rightly proud of his accomplishments, but I hope he doesn't let it go to his head. Next to him is his latest love, Dajala. I'm glad he found someone new. I thought the "Morgan" disaster would put him off for a long time, but he's leapt right back into the fire again. I don't know Dajala well, but I hope she's a good person, and not a secret Banite or something.

Now my thoughts are just rambling aimlessly. I'm tired and moon is high in the sky. Time for bed!

Sleep. . . those little slices of Death. . . How I love them!

[vetinari]

Melancholy

Ugh. I must be in a bad mood today. Very unusual for me, since just about everything amuses me. Here's what happened: I met a new face at the Merchant Camp. I offered my name and asked for hers.

She said: "My name has been abused in the past. You may call me Mistress"

I said: "Uh. . i'm not going to call you that. What else have you got?"

She said: "A disinterest in you."

After that I promptly ignored her. She tried making other conversation, but I ignored her and she eventually went away.

I gambled a bit with some of the other folks by the fire: Saman the fire genesi, some gnome woman with poor hygiene, and a warrior-type with a rambuctious, caustic, yet not unfriendly demeanor. But in my mind, I kept coming back to the woman I snubbed. . . all over a comment that, if I wasn't in such a poor mood, I would have found amusing. Lets face it, it was a great comeback!

I hope to meet her again so I can apologize.

So what's the source of this poor mood? I've made a lot of friends here in Baldur's Gate, but I feel that a lot of my new friends have slipped away. Some have simply left, like Tami and Tamara. Others I'm just not as close to anymore it seems. Ivaris, for example, has grown a bit distant, and he's one of my closest friends.

Oh well, there are always new faces and new friends to make. Just one meloncholy day, but I'll be back on top of the world tomorrow, I'm sure.

[vetinari]

Monasticism

Its been an exciting week!

I was made an Acolyte at Candlekeep, and I am on the path to becoming a Seeker. The seekers are those people who go out and look for lost scrolls, books, and artifacts, and then return them to Candlekeep for study and archiving.

Yesterday, I got my first mission! Gorion, Honored guest and well-known sage, asked us to find an object of potentially great power. It was me, Seeker Valqis, Guard Emrys, and some guy named Vlad. We set out to an area near Daggerford by magical portal. We saved a dryad from goblins, and she was so grateful she told us where we might find the Artifact.

She directed us to talk to a blind old fisherman, who told us we needed to find an ancient demi-lich who would know where it was. He also asked us to find a magical bear - as a favor to him. The magical bear apparently grants wishes, and the blind old fisherman didn't want to be blind anymore.

We fought our way through hordes of undead until we found the demi-lich. In exchange for a dirge sung by Valqis, and a part of her life-force, the demi lich told us that a magical bear could give us the artifact. What luck! We could help the old man and get the artifact!

So we found the bear after a bit of searching -- the bear was about the size of a barn, by the way! -- and he offered to grant us each a wish if we would leave him in peace. Valqis wished for the artifact. Vlad wished for a ship and crew to appear in Baldur's Gate harbor for his very own. And Emrys wished to have the True Names of the demons that possessed his soul. That was a bit of a shocker, but I acted calm about that.

And what did I wish for? Obviously, I wished to restore the old fisherman's sight. I know, people will probably think I'm an idiot. After all, I could have wished for power or wealth. But, at the end of the day, its all about helping other people, not helping yourself.

So, in a way, I am powerful and wealthy. I mean, in a way that leaves me powerless and poor, of course. Ah well, tomorrow is another day!

[vetinari]

Morality

People don't get it! Some people are mentally incapable of getting it. I'm talking about morality, of course. And when I say people don't get it, i'm not talking about criminals, and self-centered adventurers. These are paladins, and fine-upstanding citizens.

Here's how it started. Saint Merielle invites a group of us to breakfast. There was Rith, Siomir, Jonas and Selis. Plus some new-to-me folks, Kaden, Ramas, and some guy in Red whom I call Red Rover because he wouldn't give his name. We go to the shrine of Ilmater and eat. We are all being loud and festive and eating like nobility. About half-way through the meal I realize that all the poor folk who come to the kitchen are probably horribly afraid of all these armed, loud, and obnoxious wealthy folk who have invaded their one place of sanctuary. Gods, we're a bunch of asses!

But I digress. .

So I'm speaking to these paladins (Ramas and Kaden) about a few issues. And without going into their idiotic arguments, they all say that there is only black or white. There are no shades of grey. For example, a man who steals money for profit is no more evil than the man who steals food for his family. They are both theives and both are equally Evil. Presumably, a pickpocket is just as evil as a homicidal maniac. No gray, everything is Black and White.

Also, at the end of the evening, Kadan got upset at me for lying about being arrested - I said I had been arrested once, but I was just kidding. When I told them I was kidding, Kaden was more upset with me being a liar than he was when he thought I was a criminal!

Ha Ha! What a couple of Idiots.

Oh, speaking of morality, I had a lovely talk with Rith. You know, the woman I disliked because she almost killed some innocent woman without a hint of remorse? Well, she showed a hint of Remorse! Before the argument with the paladins, she said she was sorry and wanted to apologize to me and to Incama (the woman she attacked). I was so delighted that she admitted the slight possibility that she may have done something wrong. . . I was almost in tears. There were hugs all around.

Oh, and I met a another new person. I'm fairly sure she was a half-orc, although she kept her face covered. She was at the shrine of Ilmater while we were there, and she seemed quite afraid of the loud and obnoxious asses who were making festive in the presence of abject poverty. So I spoke to her a bit in private and gave her some money to set her on her way. She seemed very nice, but determined to better her position. I hope to meet her again.

[vetinari]

Stone Angel

Stone angel, can you hear me
Stone angel, can you see me
Are you somewhere in the Gate
And I am still the one you hate.

What a strange day! First, Eric Lightbringer, a dear friend, but a complete idiot, tells me that he has rejoined the Flaming Fist. This is a day after. . a day after he completely disavows them for threatening him, and for being evil and unjust. After he tells me that he rejoined them, he tells me "You told me once that one man can make a difference." Yeah, Eric. Just like one arrow can make a difference in a battle, one man can make a difference in life. But, Eric my dear fool, you have to shoot the arrow, not throw it!

But I digress, and I haven't even started yet!

Celia Lockheart, one of my closest friends, took me for a tour of the Istari tower. In the main lobby there is a stone angel that was found in the sewers. (I wish I had been at the meeting that led to that decision) which was acting funny. I could have sworn it moved, but whenever I looked at it, it was right where it had been. Anyway, Celia mentioned that the iron golems looked "dead". We went upstairs and found Exarch Elias -- and somewhere along the way Eric popped in. Yay. . .?

So I sort of lost track of what was going on, but the next thing I know we were all dead.

I say this cavalierly, but it was so utterly frightening and strange that I can't possibly describe it or convey the emotions I felt. I know I've died before, because people have raised me and told me that I had been dead. . . but I never remember what happened. Its always a blank. A void in my mind. Sometimes I can't even remember what led up to my death.

But I remembered this death, and I wonder if it is always like this. We were traveling through a void of light and darkness. We saw things that I don't understand. . . stars forming and dying, swirling lights and nothingness, floating in an ocean of darkness. Into this darkness came Mystra, the Goddess of Magic, and she spoke to us. We were dead, killed by this creature, this stone angel. The creature had also drained the Istari tower of all magic.

Mystra then told us that she had no knowledge of this creature, and neither did Azuth. Mystra could neither see nor hear this creature. It was invisible to her. This fact would not frighten me until later. The creature was so powerful it could render itself invisible to the Gods!

Mystra sent us back to the Istari tower. The stone angel was not where we left it, and we searched the tower, but it was gone. Somewhere, out in the city, there is an angel of stone; A thing so powerful it can kill a Weavemaster Exarch with almost no effort, and render itself invisible to the Goddess of the Weave.

A Devourer of Magic. . .

That reminds me, I haven't eaten lunch yet. I hope they're serving that delicious mutton with mint sauce at the Elfsong today.

[vetinari]

Plane Walking

Not too long ago, Valqis Sanejmeh, Emrys, Vladimire and I went on a quest to find a powerful artifact for the Scholars of Candlekeep. It was called "the Path of Many" and we had no idea what it was supposed to do, but we were told that it was very powerful.

Yesterday, the Scholars decided that they had figured out how to activate the device, so the called upon their favorite Seeker (Valqis) and their favorite Acolyte (Me!), to work it and see what it does. Joan DeGaulle and two other guards, Nathaniel Dusk and Firavain Arfaeniel came along, as well as our comrade Vladimire.

Thunder Lizards!
With a hum and a flash, the artifact transported us to another world! We knew it was another world because of the three moons and two suns. I was sent off to gather some botanical samples from the jungle we were in, and while I was gone, the others apparently encountered some gigantic lizards. . . as tall as a building and voracious as a starving wolf. We managed to escape from this world after the Artifact's "Rest Time" was finished. We had no idea how to aim or control the device, so we pressed the button randomly, hoping it would land us back home.

Vault 72
Next we traveled to a world underground. The man we first encountered said the place was called "Vault 72" and he said the human race was hidden underground and was nearly extinct! He spoke of bizarre things, like "row-bots" and "telecommunications (telepathy?)" and "lazers". He knew nothing of magic. He said that there were only 20 people left in Vault 72 and they had been down their for decades. When he learned that we were from another plane of existence, he wanted to come with us and bring the others, despite the danger. Tragically, the row-bots - who looked much like humanoid and spidery golems - broke into the vault. We did our best to fight them off and save the remnants of the humans, but we were too late. the row-bots had come in behind us and slaughtered them to the last man, woman, and child. We were fortunate that we did not have to witness this, but the carnage was heart-wrenching and I wept over the bodies of those we couldn't save.

Torchkeep
The next world we visited looked much like our own. In fact, we thought we had arrived in Candlekeep! But soon we noticed things were different. The familiar faces of Candlekeep were gone, replaced with horrid Orcs! We passed the infirmary (the new sign said "Ouch House"), and the Candlekeep Inn was the "Torchkeep Inn" Soon, we were confronted by the Torchkeep guards - a couple of them were dressed much like Nathaniel and Firavain. Unlike orcs on our plane, these orcs were intelligent and fairly polite. On their world, humans could not speak the common tongue and were like savages, so they were wary of our presence. The brought us to the barracks where we met more of our orcish counterparts. There were orc versions of Valerius, Valqis, Joan, and me (I was the prettiest orc)! Eventually, after they realized we weren't savages, they let us out of the jail, just in time for us to activate the Artifact one more time.

A Pocket-Plane
We arrived at our last destination before returning home, although we didn't know it at the time. This was a pocket-plane. A sub-dimension created by the creator of the Artifact we possessed. This creator, a plane-traveler, had also created a construct that was the guidance system for the Artifact that allowed us to travel between the planes. This construct told us about his creator, and explained how to properly use the artifact to travel between the planes. In the end it gave us the coordinates we needed to arrive back on Abeir-Toril, and the coordinates to get us back to the pocket-dimension.

Armed with this knowledge, we made a last journey, arriving back home.

[vetinari]

Enemy Mine

I don't hate anybody. Even when I'm out hunting, and killing orcs and Hill giants, and giant spiders, I don't hate them. I do it because they attack and kill innocent travelers and adventurers, and I am, unfortunately well equipped to stop them.

So its very odd to me to have someone hate me as thoroughly as Kaden Asen does. I've never done anything wrong around him. We had a lively discussion once, all about morality and ethics, and we disagreed about some key aspects. But I never imagined it would turn into the over-whelming hatred that he has.

Twice in the last week, Kaden has verbally torn into me. Calling me immoral and evil. Saying that I would sacrifice children to save myself, and essentially declaring, to anyone who is listening, that I am just a miserable, worthless wretch. I laughed it off the first time.

The second time he did it was because I made, what I thought, was a harmless joke about an elf named Deva. We were all in a festive mood, and I was trying to break the ice. Almost everyone laughed at my good-natured ribbing of the dour elf. . . except for Kaden. Kaden used this opportunity to rip me another one, in front of my current boyfriend Aearion, Saint Merielle, Nari, and a few others that I thought of as friends and acquaintances. Kaden stormed out afterwards, and I profusely apologized to Deva for my comments. He did not seem inclined to accept my apology.

And what about my friends. . . my Friends? When Kaden thought I insulted one of his friends he tore into me viciously. My friends. The people I care most about. . . and this stings a bit. . . they did nothing. Nobody thought to tell Kaden he was being wrong or unfair. Nobody defended me. Not Nari, not Saint Merielle. . not even my lover, Aearion. One man spoke up in my defense, Bosch Sapphire, but he was quickly put in his place with a veiled threat, and the deafening silence of everyone else gave sent the clear message -- don't defend the Harlequin!

Although Kaden has decided I am his enemy, I wish. . . I wish I had a friend like him. A friend who would defend me the way he defended his friend. Do these people actually like me? I don't know any more. In this strange land, do good deeds mean nothing, while a misplaced joke condemns one to open verbal attack and condemnation? To abandonment by your so-called friends?

I think I will keep to myself for a while. I need to re-think my life here. My relationships. I am all for selfless sacrifice. I don't expect to be commended for my Good deeds and words, but I won't stay here if I am belittled and abandoned for them. I went home with Aearion tonight, but my heart wasn't in it, and I think he may have sensed my distance.

I feel so homesick right now.

[vetinari]

((The previous entry was to be part of a "Dark Harlequin" story arc for my character, but other events intervened. Alison will be going home to Deepingdale to reconnect with her old family and friends.))

[vetinari]

A Fool's Errand

So I'm writing a book. I doubt I will finish it, but I've got some great ideas that I stole from other people and want to put down on paper. Its all about the historical role of the Fool or the Jester (or Joker, Harlequin, muggins, etc.), interspersed with my own experiences as a Jester.

Interestingly enough, an incident recently happened http://bgtscc.net/viewtopic.php?p=144615#p144615 that served as a stark contrast to the typical lore we hear about Jesters. After the execution of an admitted Red Wizard of Thay for the crime of being a Red Wizard of Thay, I made this comment:

"I don't see this any different from people wanting to kill Tieflings, orcs, and half-orcs for no other reason that they are what they are. I mean, sure, 95% of the time they are right. But its that 5% who are innocent that makes us want to at least TRY to prove they have Evil intent before you give them the drop."

My comments were overheard by Sir Justin Crownsilver, one of the highest ranked commanders of the Flaming Fist, and he gave me a verbal lashing as if I had jumped up and declared that all Red Wizards are loving and kind, and should be hugged not hung. He even said ". . .Tell them (the citizens who lost loved ones), that they should embrace the Red Wizards once again!"

He turned away for a moment, and before I could even utter "Huh? I never even said that!" He turned back on me to tell me to shut up, and then gave me another helping of verbal abuse, along with a side-plate of threats of death and banishment.

So anyway, that reminded me of this chapter of my book. I also decided to share it. I made copies of this bit and spread them around the Gate, Candlekeep, and Beregost.

Here it is:
http://bgtscc.net/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=11608

[vetinari]

Love and Marriage - Its an institute you can't disparage. . .


So, I decided to marry Aearion Caunwaithon.

Oh, I know, I know. I'm beating myself up over that becasue its against everything I believe in. I'm not so much against marriage, I'm just against the idea of adventurers getting married. I've just seen too many of these relationships end when one or the other partner decided to leave, or dies, and its just all heartbreak and pain.

But Aearion and I are different. For one thing, we've both been around for a long time, and we've been courting for half a year almost. I don't think either one of us is leaving anytime soon. And sure, one of us might die, but I wouldn't be any less upset if Aearion died and we weren't married. In fact, I may regret that we never got married.

The other issue is race. Aearion is an elf, so while I grow old and eventually die, he will remain young throughout our time together. I always wanted to marry someone I could grow old with. But, lets face it, the heart knows what it wants, and there is little the mind can do to sway it.

We haven't really set a date yet. It will probably be a small ceremony, perhaps just the two of us and a priest of Tymora. Or maybe we'll just declare ourselves mates, as in the elven tradition, and not worry about the ceremony. I don't know yet.

Anyway, I will continue to do as I always do. . . take things one day at a time. And as long as I have my love, Aearion at my side, things will be better than they would be without him.

[vetinari]

Contest Victory

So I entered a Wizard's Research contest sponsored by the Doran Amar Arcane Academy.

Some background. As most people know, I can't stand Rith. I think she's dangerous, paranoid, evil and stupid. I don't care for Siomir either because he inexplicably defends Rith, even when she's doing being all of the above at the same time. I'm sorry, there is no excuse for that. I love Aearion, but if he was acting like an idiot, I wouldn't shy from telling him so.

So anyway, a man that Aearion admires a great deal, Rhys, the leader of the Doran Amar Arcane Academy was acting a bit cold to me the last time I met him. I can only assume its because he was listening to Rith's horrible lies about me and started to believe them. So, when I saw that Rhys was holding this contest, I decided to enter and hopefully win him over. Of course I don't think the entry alone will do it, but maybe this will spark a conversation between us, and maybe he'll realize that I'm not the calculating bitch Rith says I am.

Oh, I just found out that I won the contest! Yay me!

Anyway, here is my entry:

((Lore skill, Unbuffed = 55))


Little is known of the destruction of the elven village of the Firewine. The lore is scarce on this point, but some facts can be gleaned by an examination of the area. Fortunatley there is also Bardic lore, which, although rarerly written down, is passed from Master to Apprentice in the form of song and poetry.

What we know from the halflings of Gullykin, is that the barren swath that lies nearby is rich with wild magic. There are ghosts stories and such, but these seem more to scare children or entertain the neverending stream of adventurers that pass through the village on the way to Durlag's tower.

The locals speak of the village of Firewine fairly casually. They say that the village was destroyed in a sorcerous duel nearly 200 years ago. The power unleashed was so great that it changed the course of the stream that once flowed through the area. It also created the areas of wild magic, and presumably killed all of the inhabitants. Interestingly, the halflings have tales that some of the elves did not die, but were transformed into lizards, frogs, turtles and other small creatures. True or not, the Gullykin villagers make it a point to never kill small animals. . . just in case ((Volo's Guide to the Sword Coast)).

I also recalled an old song about a "Firewine Bridge", and so I travelled about from Baldur's Gate to Beregost, and to many of the outlying villages in search of someone who knew this song. I finally found my mark in the small village of Ulgoth's Beard. An old fisherman, not much of a Bard, but he was all the village had in the form of a storyteller. He learned this song from a traveling Minstrel in his youth, and he remembered most of it from his love of the sad ballad. Below I have finally put to paper the song that only resided in the head of the fisherman.



The Firewine


South of the Sharp Teeth on the road to the North
Lay a town that spanned river and ridge.
A hamlet well built on barter and craft
The village of Firewine Bridge

unknown to the elves of this halcyon span
Their fate lay in Bethsheba's sphere
As pride would lead to the village's fall
The pride of the spell-casters near.

-
The Sorcerers of Calimshan were hardy and bold
And quite unaccustomed to fear.
But the bravest of all, and most seasoned by far
Was Abu Suldophor Meneer.

There were wizards a-plenty, good men known to fame
In the army of the Waterdeep Lords.
But none of more fame than an elf by the name
Of Timon Alessand'e'vodor.

One day this bold Tel'quessir had shouldered his bow,
And donned his most truculent sneer,
Southward he went where on a bridge he met
The great Abu Suldophor Meneer

Vanity rides with disdain at her side
When North and south meet far afield
As neither magician would yield up the path
The fate of the Firewine was sealed

As the first spell was cast in a fiery blast
The wood and stone trembled in fear.
At a stone's throw apart did the stubborn foes stand
both Timon and Abu Meneer.

With world-shaking might and legerdemain
The weave they did twist and pillage
On that Summer's day it's said Mystra did weep
For the hamlet of Firewine Bridge.

The river it boiled with wild surging weave
And the forest with Unseelie spawn
The fabric of land, and water and flesh
Transmuted beyond recognition.

The Tel'quessir blood of the Sharp Teeth is gone
From the barren and marred vestiges
And all that remains are the echoes of pain
From the ghosts of the Firewine Bridge.