Huge success! I found tha wilderbeast that's pokin tha eyes outta some adventurers I see. I named it RightEyeGouginHawk. Tis a beast that Beholdars command in order to fetch extra eyes so that they can replace their own once they get cataracts or sumtin.
I've seen this beast so it ain't no lie. Tis a big bird with a big beak, a small body and wings and two big tails, it has two legs that in turn have legs, totallin a total of 4 legs total.
Mordenkainen, Elminster, Khelben, the sun...they have nothin on Spell Crafter McGee.
I've come up with a spell so powerfull it will disable any beholdar with no effort at all. I call it, McGee's Greater Empowered Light! Tis a spell tha likes of which have nevar been seen, mostly because it blinds whoevar looks at it.
Tha RighteyegounginHawk incident got me thinkin, well tha Beholdars have many eyes, tis there that their power lies (ooh rhyme), wot can I do to beat tha bastards?
I can create ma own sun that's wot!
I've drawn a diagram ta show how it works. Behold!(no pun intended, or was it?)
There he was, Foggy "fast foot" McGee headin ta Candlekeep so he could buy some supplies, tha gnoll were bittin that day, he took out at least a couple o'hundred of'em before findin some fellers on tha road. Somethin didn't smell right ta Foggy...
Foggy noticed some familiar faces among tha ones there, he nodded to Stick Master Markon and Miss Eli before askin a question to tha group.
Who among you knows what is goin on here? Speak now or taste my wrath via empowered ray of frost! Tha crowd shivered cuz they were scared, tha Stick Master approaches and speaks...
I was asked by a great wyrm ta return a fabled sword of powerful power to him Lord Foggy. Foggy said...Bah! and cuz of his infinite kindness, decided ta aid tha poor fellas. Follow Kind Hearted McGee and ya'll be safe, he said as he made is way into tha cloak wood.
As he led the group undar tha pouring rain trough tha jungle, Foggy's keen ear noticed a horrible cacklin comin from afar, in a split second he was able to determine its origin and said. Tha haunted house!
As tha othars cowered, Foggy valiently fought through lizzie and spidar, felling them so fast tha group started ta chant tha name Swift death McGee. Alas they reached tha haunted house...
Foggy quickly reorganized tha ones who survived with his great strategic prowess and formulated a plan to be put into action once they stormed tha house. Tha plan was ta....leave it all ta Foggy.
They entered tha house and were suddenly in tha presence of a dreaded lich, Foggy shouted with his tenor voice. I'm here fer tha powerful sword of great power, you must give it to me or face tha consequences!
Tha lich layed his eye sockets on Foggy and said, well lookie here, tis tha fabled Battle Warrior Foggy McGee, I've heard so much bout you...Before tha lich finished its sentence, Foggy let loose one of his most powerful cantrips and tha lich fell to Greater empowered ray of frost. He then said, I'm not here fer tea and cookies ya abomination! The othar adventurers stood in awe.
Upon recoverin tha sword, Foggy drew some runes on tha floor and opened a dimensional portal. The stick master Markon asked, what powerful magic is this Master Foggy? He replied...tis a mere cantrip young one...
They walked through tha portal and were taken to tha top of tha highest cloudpeak mountain, as othars shivered, Foggy disrobed and gave his battle clothes to tha cold ones.
Suddenly the sound of magnificent wings flappin could be heard, tha wyrm had descended and Foggy was now facin it in his undies.
Am I in tha presence of DragonSlayer McGee? Asked tha dragon...
Foggy nodded slightly in accordance and said...tha stick master told me of a sword ya wished ta be returned, we have succeeded in doing so...
Foggy threw tha sword on tha ground fer tha dragon ta see. You have done well, said tha dragon. I shall reward ya greatly, he said as he threw a big bag o'gold to tha floor.
Without even lookin at tha gold Foggy said. There's only one reward I seek here, I shall make ya ma new battle beast! Tha dragon knew not to oppose Foggy and accepted his fate...Foggy conjured a dragon saddle of gnome size and strapped it on tha dragon. His disrobed self hopped on top of tha white wyrm and said.
Onwards Mr. Kittles! And they flew off with tha moon as their background....
Its been a few days since I saw Miss Eli vanish inta thin air...I've talked ta Master Elias about this and he's been very supportive. Tha high mage Gorion is searchin the library of Candlekee fer a way ta go to Cania I do not regret praying ta Mystra fer help, twas ma first time askin anythin from a god.
Master Elias has asked me ta craft a trinket that would allow tha branded Tief ta hide his markins...said it would be used as pay fer tha services of tha angry woman Sylvia, apparently her services are needed ta find whoevar has been spreadin rumours bout tha Masters. I'm a bit conflicted bout this cuz I hear that tief was aidin drow...we'll see how it goes.
This is a crazy world, and nothin is as it seems, in ma travels I've come across many different foes, so I'm quite proficient at spottin those that are powerfull and those who can't fight their way outta a paper bag.
It is a weaklin when it:
- Looks like it took three hours to dress itself with it's ornamental clothes er armor;
- Wears all black:
- Wields a huge weapon (over compensatin);
- Is always lookin fer a fight;
- Nevar shows its face;
- Talks tha talk.
It is a worthy opponent when it:
- Wears simple clothes;
- Wields a mighty spoon;
- Doesn't want to fight you even when provoked;
- Never hides its face;
- Walks tha walk.
Had a run-in with a Battleaxe...what is a battleaxe ya ask? Tis a brutish woman that carries herself like she is a man, wearin heavy suits of armor and displayin aggressive behaviour...ya know...a battleaxe.
At first I wasn't sure twas a lady but she got offended when I addressed her as sir, she didn't understand how I could make such a mistake so I decided ta explain it ta her.
Ya see, women are supposed ta be graceful and gentle, like swan ducks, bein aggressive and spittin while ya talk loud ain't how a lady should behave, tis tha behaviour an alpha male displays. Anothar thing that doesn't help is wearin a suit of armor fer men.
She was shocked by wot I said to her and I could see a vein pop out on her forehead, she claimed women didn't have ta be graceful ta be pretty, and they can fight just like a man. After that she left us and said she hated me, I reckon she hates all men and plays fer tha othar team...
Made a life like drawin of tha differences between a battleaxe and a Lady.
\\I'd like to thank Torack for coloring Syldra's portrait of Foggy, he did a great job and I apreciate it. You can check it out on the first page of the journal.
