Just to clarify one thing, non-drow are not second rate citizens. They're below second rate citizens; they're noncitizens.
Subject: Lore: Everything needed to know about Sshamath
Kelsfar wrote: Noncitizens
[snipe]...Actual citizenship is never granted to nondrow, though permanent residency is allowed so long as business is conducted as mentioned above. This second-class 'ghetto' of humans and Deep Imaskari is never allowed to grow large, but the city recognizes the value of these noncitizens as scapegoats or sacrificial lambs.
Yes, they're tolerated. No, they do not live in a paradise where they can walk up and offend a drow or act as if they're equal to them. They're not. Not even in Sshamath. My best advice for someone playing a non-drow, act submissive and make sure those around you understand your worth. Either through trade, connections, or skills.
You won't ever amount to the same respect as a drow within their society, but if you're useful they might not consider you garbage... for a time.
I've yet to see anyone who have RP'd this, every non-drow I've met has demanded the same respect as my character would give a high ranking drow, or has ignored the ranking system within Sshamath.
This is the lore of the place and actually played out quite well =)
Edit: As for Zabel, I don't think there's any hostility here, just people discussing and arguing their point =) at least that's how I'm feeling about it.
Edit2: Just remembered, I have indeed seen one non-drow showing the proper respect. Though he's a purchased slave of the House... but still, Hunar is doing a darn fine job at playing a character who keeps the head low enough to not gather unwarrented attention.