Please Stop Using “Toxic” to Label Something X on BGTSCC

[mastajabba]

What can be done to solve these issues?

Googling "Reduce toxicity in online communities" actually yields a lot of interesting results and will also let you know that it's quite normal that online communities are toxic, it's not because BG players are so bad or NWN2 enthusiats are petty, it's common human behavior.

https://scholars.org/contribution/count ... ate-speech

Maybe it's worth it to explore such options, because these are problems that others before us have already faced and solved, perhaps we can learn something from them.

Hey! good to see you back. Hope it doesn’t become a problem again.

Now onto the topic, I think a lot of the problem here stems from people who take things way to serious and start seeing malice or ill intent on things. If you are catching feels a certain way. A quick PM to the person to make sure it’s not a misunderstanding. Would solve this on two seconds. And if it’s found to be malicious then just report to the Staff.

[Shadowspinner70]

I've found that people get defensive and quite nasty, or you get straight up left on read, if you confront them. Nevermind the eternal game of telephone, which amplifies the whole issue. Speaking from experience here, on both ends. Many people also feel it's not necessary because something going on, or something they feel is going on, is that blatant.

People often feel they don't need to approach someone with something if they either saw it or they have been seen doing something, or around during an event.

I also agree with what Maecius said, but I'd like to expand upon it. I've found that something is called toxic not only because they are hurt, but also because that action is pervasive among the community or a sub-community like a friend group or guild. I've seen plenty of things be called toxic when it's not. I've also seen, many, many times, something be called toxic because of how pervasive it is, and I know several people who have left because of pervasive issues.

Communication is key, as Jabba said. It's also ridiculously difficult despite being so simple. So, how do we bring things up?

The opportunity can be waited for, in order to organically weave the topic into conversation. It can make a person feel a lot less singled out. Sometimes you may want to bite the bullet and just PM the person. Begin with a "Hey, can we talk? I feel it's really important." If you find yourself getting heated, request a break to return to the topic later!

Do as I say, not as I do. Or do as I'm trying to get better at. Don't beat yourself up for screwing up. Just do better next time. It's an accident, not a habit. Until it becomes a habit.

[NeOmega]

You can be Toxic. I wont say anything. I'll just avoid you.

You can write long winded sermons about other people's toxicity, I won't say anything. I'll just avoid you.

BUT

Don't even think for one second you can BE toxic, and at the same time write long sermons about the toxicity of others, and I am just going to not say anything.

And I did not see this thread, until after, you know, the thing.

[athornforyourheart]

You can be Toxic. I wont say anything. I'll just avoid you.

+1

[Shadowspinner70]

I will agree here. One thing I forgot to write was that all of us, literally, are hypocrites one way or another. We preach something and do the exact opposite. It's part of why we call each other toxic.

It's one symptom that can be resolved with simple awareness! Do as we say and when we don't do it, don't excuse it by saying it's an accident but still acknowledge it. Blah blah blah, soapbox of Shadow, blah!

[Tekill]

We need to remember that “good” and “bad” are two sides of the same coin. If we don’t understand it, we will remain trapped in dichotomous thinking, victims of the labels we apply ourselves.

https://psychology-spot.com/labeling-theory/

I had to go back and re-read the OP's link.

I went from focusing on toxicity to the opposite and focussing on harmlessness. Like everyone is so worried about being seen as toxic that the server becomes one big harmless nanny state. But I suppose labels such as Toxic and Harmless are also the opposite side of he same coin, as good and bad.

Simply put it can be harmful to focus too much on any one label.

What frustrates me is that I just want the game to have a more of a dangerous feel to it. It is way too easy and harmless. I have not started using the Harmless label until this thread started....so that might be a bit counterproductive. Two sides of the same coin thing- zooming in on one aspect too much maybe.

I suspected that one of the reasons its become harmless is that people were too focused on other peoples toxicity. It is definitely a different server now than it was when I first started playing.

I still have some fun, but is there any way we can bring back some of the sense of danger. I am starting to get seriously bored.

[Tekill]

Whoops I did some sort of double post. (I was forum posting and cooking supper at the same time).

[yyj]

The most dangerous thing I would say is justifying "toxic" behavior towards "toxic" people making it work sort of like a witch hunt. It's not mature and it's not productive, it generates more toxicity.

People are more complex than the labels we give each other as humans and it's unfair to just say someone is "so toxic" and then you justify toxic behavior towards them, creating a vicious circle and trying to reduct behavior to one simple reason is dumb, people is way more than a label.