day 94
i returned to kandlekeep and my bed. i plan'ed to only be away 1 day, but aktions kaused me to stay in baldurs gate for 4 days. i drinked very much ale and wine. juliandra sure to saved me from myself. i am not sure i want to rite about it. but i know in need to rite it so i kan read it again to remind me to not repeat my mistakes.
it begin'ed on my birthday when i meeted juli for us to selebrate my birthday in baldurs gate. we drinked ales. many ales. merielle gived me new hat and kake (taste very good!). vlad and merielle leaved us so only juli and me are there. we talked for long time. she telled me that it is obvious to her that vlad is wanting to romance me. she telled me, "his eyes undress you val." we talked about males but my mind is kovered with ale. i sleep in her room at the inn.
on day 91, emrys taked me to nise tavern for food and wine. i weared new dress for him and put ribbons in my hair. we sure enjoyed our time together. i drinked komplete wine bottle myself. then we walk in the sity streets under the nite sky filled with stars. so pretty. but, wine kovered my mind from thinking smart ideas. wine filled my heart with kourage. my heart run for him. my blood burn for him. i want to give myself to him.
then juli finded us... outside the tavern and saved me from give myself to emrys. we talked again and i sleeped in her room again but i do not remember her words.
i waked in juli's room and she feeded me tea to klear my hurting mind. hangover. why did i drink very much?
first, she maked me swear on my honor to not drink very much with emrys or vlad. then she telled me i am moveing very fast with romanceing emrys. if i am not kareful, he will soon bed me. i admit i like this idea. but ... she telled me smart idea that i mite kan regret my choise later.
then juli asked me something i never thinked about for myself before. what do i want in a man? on my home islands i kan only have small part in choises man for me. i mite be trade for something important to our house. my father and the man's father will deside for us.
so, my mind thinked long about my answer. i am not sure my answers are korekt, but they are the best i kan think now. i rite them here to remind me. i want a man who will:
- understand my love for god nut (they name it selune here), the sky, sun, moon and stars.
- be honorable to me.
- not hit me.
- be there for our childs.
- earn respekt from the other males.
- allow me to sing and danse for other persons.
she telled me more about difikult choises. i asked her to rite her ideas so i kan study and beter understand her ideas.
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i returned to kandlekeep today and finded new book with poem inside of it from vlad:
he do not kause this to be easy.
/s/ valqis sanejmeh
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day 95
now emrys rited me poem. very nise of him.

this poem kan bekome very nise song.
difikult choises.
/s/ valqis
PC1 = Nerys, Emissary and Skald of the Greyfox tribe, roaming north near Secomber
PC2 = Valqis Sanejmeh; far away cartographer, Oracle of Nut at chaltin QulDaq, former navigator of the Sea Seeker, Reader of Candlekeep and sometime performer.